Yet I remain the same

Moon light filters in

A change is on the way

Anticipation screams out

Clawing forth through the haze

Yet I remain the same

This beast roars fiercely

Pacing deep inside

This body's but a cage

But it can see through my eyes

Yet I remain the same

Darkness is my friend

Shadows an ally

Smell of blood fills the air

seek out its source

Yet I remain the same

As the moon clears the clouds

split in two with agony

Teeth tearing out

Escaping from the flesh

Yet I remain the same

Running through the trees

Hear a heart beat up a head

Approach my meal stealthy

Hidden in the reeds

Yet I remain the same

Smell their blood beneath the flesh

My mouth does salivate

Claws flexing and tail twitching

Intent on ending the hunt

Yet I remain the same

Leaping forth with blazing speed

Terror fills the night

Blood soaks the earth.

As I stand there and devour

Yet I remain the same

Confusion and the young vampire

           Confusion is often a passenger on the journey a real vampire takes upon themselves once awakened. This emotion though is completely natural as confusion occurs during any form of change that affects one's life. Make no mistake, an awakening is a major change in vampires life. With that being said there are several pitfalls that occur in the early years following a vampires awakening.

          One of the first is giving into denial. Awakenings are a chaotic event in a persons life time. But by living in denial a young vampire creates two problems. The first is placing themselves behind the eight ball so to speak. It can and often does and results in the heightening lethargy, and frequent illnesses. These have and are continuing attempts of the subconscious to influence what it has already deduced. And that is your body is craving something that the conscious mind is denying. The second thing it is creating is fear! This fear manifests itself in how we act and behave around others, for fear of being branded with any number of labels. Chief of which is mentally unstable. When employing denial when dealing with this major event in ones life, it is this writers opinion that more harm than good takes place.

Denial, should be replaced with excitement. This is difficult though when dealing with a “glass is half full” mentality. To combat denial, gradual exposure to the new life that is about to be lived is a good way to show that a lot of preconceived notions of vampires are simply untrue. Examples of feeding is a good way to counter denial. Show the newly awakened how they were unconsciously feeding, even before they awakened (most do this). Explaining that only through accepting who and what they've become can they learn to control their hungers. Trust is another tool to use. When trust is established a newly awakened is more inclined to ask what they see as embarrassing questions. Fear can be replaced by trust as well. When a newly awakened has gained trust and faith in what they are being told by elder vampires, then it is easier to accept it for what it is. This is the equivalent to facing ones fears and discovering that they were more worry than fear, and worry is easily explained away.

           Another stumbling block in the evolution of the vampire's soul is lack of knowledge in how to obtain and feed from another's energy. This is largely an overall on line and off line vampire community issue to tackle. Through mentoring and available resources the necessary information needed can be found. There are several on line resource and social sites that deal primarily with the vampire community. It is often on these sites that information concerning real vampirism as well as a mentor to explain it are found. Once the basics such as shielding (psychic vampires) and proper safety techniques (sanguine vampire) are obtained then feeding can be adequately taught as to the type of vampire that has awakened. With elemental vampires feeding starts with which forms of energy are more easily obtainable than others. Information covering things such as wind and storm energy as well as how to harness it can be obtained through resources and mentoring. For eros (sexual) vampires tantric means are often employed to gain the needed prana. The stumbling block on this is a variable. Not all vampires are cut from the same cloth so there is good reason to assume that a good bit of those who awaken still have a rather puritan view in regards to sex. It is this puritan view that often will leave a eros vampire half full. It is the energy created by arousal that sustains us. After all that is when the energy is at its strongest, once intercourse is commenced then the act of relinquishing energy occurs, that defeats the purpose of feeding altogether.

           Still another pitfall is ego! Man's as well as real vampires egos have been their ruin in more ways than not. A rare but not uncommon mentality of the newly awakened is what is known as feeling “ten feet tall and bullet proof.” This particular feeling is dangerous on a number of levels. One being braggart claims that often are not backed up. This causes mistrust of the vampire within their own kind. Still another danger is the belief that there are abilities present that simply are not. And yet another danger of ego are boastful statements regarding not only the new vampire but the overall community in general. This can lead to members of the community being outed against their will or before they were ready to reveal themselves. Those few things are but a sampling of the trials and tribulations experienced by those who've only recently awakened. Even though our awakenings are different from one vampire to another, we all still pretty much face the same pitfalls.

           If I could offer any pearls of wisdom from my twenty-five plus years of being awakened, it would be as a wise man once said “patience is a virtue”. Simply relax, stop being afraid and embrace yourself and that means all of you. It's important to remember that just because you have awakened, it doesn't change who you are as a person. Real vampires are for the most part what they are due to a lack of energy. They are who they are by choice. Take it easy and allow the information to seep into your knowledge base. You don't need to know everything at once. View this new aspect of your life as a part of you and not fear that it will change you. Finally, remember that confusion is a natural reaction to the first few months to the first few years of a vampires existence. So don't get rattled. In the end it all works out as long as you avoid the pitfalls. If you can do that then the confusion will take care of itself.

An itch I can't scratch

          Have you ever had one of those itches that you just can't seem to scratch? Ever have something get so bad it becomes the twitch in your eye? Well mine is the misinformed, ill advised, topped off with a dose of sanctimonious. I recently published an article concerening what D/s BDSM means to not only me but my submissive as well. And one of the two comments left critisized me and made some pretty misinformed assumptions. It is almost as if they had not read the whole piece from beginning to end. This individual known only as “t3h fake “ asked a very good question and one I'll be happy to answer. “If society\’s expectations are bad, why are your expectations good? Why is it liberating for her to start desiring to correct the flaws you find in her instead of desiring to conform to social norms?”Here is the article that inspired that question, now I have read and reread the article and I must admit I am at a loss as to what he is actually asking. Check it out for yourselves. http://socyberty.com/subcultures/what-being-a-master-means-to-me/

          Before I answer their question I would like to point out somethings that may or may not be known by the general public. The D/s BDSM lifestyle isn't for everyone, but for those looking for more than the missionary position it's a way of life. No one enters a scene, negotiation, or even a life long relationship without knowing what it means. We are not the shady characters on the street corner, we come from all walks of life. We are doctors, lawyers, carpenters, executives, the school teacher, we are everywhere. As for the question, I think I'm gonna let answering it go. At least till they read this http://socyberty.com/psychology/the-freedom-of-consensual-slavery/ after that they may wish to withdraw the question. You see, I never set out to point out flaws I see instead I listen and work to get rid of the flaws that she sees. And I think that's where the confusion comes into play.

          

          They were only viewing it from what I a Dom/master had to say, but neglected to let my slaves voice to be heard. She (apparently to the disbelief of some) can speak for herself in this matter. So there you have it, my itch I cannot scratch. Was it an innocent question or meant to imply. So to th3fake I hope you read this. But I'm not holding my breath till you do. Hopefully my slaves words will give those who implicate what isn't there a different look into our lifestyle. One that hopefully sheds a little more light on an often misunderstood facet of society.

Vampire Venting

               Is it truly hard to believe that there is such a thing as real vampirism, or even people stating that they indeed are real vampires? Is it possible to believe without the word delusional being used? It truly depends on two things that immediately come to my mind. The first being that is mainstream media has to have a dramatic and drastic change of coverage ideals. They need to stop only highlighting the negative of everything and generating beliefs. For instance if a murderer is caught by the police, what difference does their color make. I'm just happy a murderer was taken off the streets. That is the mindset that should be adopted. The second thing is take the claims of real vampirism seriously seems to me that the only time they do is when a psychopath murders someone and then claims vampirism made them do it. These two things changing and coupled with the real vampire communities desire to get along with the outside world, can work wonders. Each can contribute in dealing with the negative image that has been created of them.

                Being a vampire in todays world is a task to undertake (like we have a choice) and lasts from the moment we awake till we leave this vessel or body in death. Each and everyday provides a challenge some small and easily dealt with and others so monumental that we turn towards the community for information, ideas, guidance, and even answers. We encourage artistic expression and foster progress and tolerance. We harbor and share a wealth of information amongst ourselves and openly except even those outsiders simply wishing to understand. I ask does this sound like the delusional teen who butchers puppies and fantasizes about killing, humans. No it is not, we are much better than that. All that we fantasize about is being accepted for who and what we are by mainstream society. And that in my opinion starts with real vampires not allowing themselves to be sensationalized for anything other than who they are as a complete person. I truly feel that only by doing that will we change those two nagging things about mainstream media.

                Now I am not advocating revolution just action. Action can be anything from participating in local events or meet ups to this article and others like it that try to be pro vampire in the messages they send. Action is helping the newly awakened to adjust all the way to helping admins and contributing on websites and social networks. By claiming your voice you can provide action. Fortunately our community is for the most part a progressive one, so new ideas are often discussed in the numerous circles that combine to make it up. In short we as a whole give direction in the paths the community takes. Makes sense seeings as we are the community, right? Action though doesn't just stop with the boundaries of our world. It can be achieved in our day side lives as well. If you are one who is out of the coffin as it were, then you can get involved in local neighborhood or city/town events. This is a definite hands on approach towards gaining the acceptance of a populous. But one that depending on the event can be a very rewarding one as well. We as real vampires can do this, we have a lot of skills and other talents that we can rely on to achieve it.

                Now this in no way is a total condemnation of how we are portrayed. Various cable networks have been over the past few years interviewing filming and trying to allow real vampires to speak. And regardless of whether you like or know the individual they speak to, then at least acknowledge that a first step has been taken. There is so much more that can be done though by all facets of the media. News papers can start by going back to being objective instead of their current subjectiveness. Radio needs to to be more friendly towards the music that appeals to the real vampire. Television news, can stop sensationalizing the idiots and psychopaths out there and clumping them into our community. There is always room for improvement on all parties involved.

                If you are a curious sort and wanting to believe but are confused as to which portrayal is real, then allow me to clear up what a real vampire is. A real vampire is an individual who has either no regenerative abilities or is in constant shortage of energy, Prana, Chi, or life force, even our essence. We have over the course learned to compensate by using certain knacks involving metaphysics, in which to gain the needed energy. We do not all take it to the extent of sleeping in coffins. We're sensitive to a degree more than the average human. We burn quickly and usually bad, we develop migraines and some of us actually have hives from long exposure to the sun. Our appearance always seems ten to twenty years younger than our actual age. We do heal from broken bones and injuries faster as in if a bone usually heals in 8 weeks ours are in five to six. We do grow old and we die just like everyone else.

                What we are not is the mass media driven portrayals of popular movies and television. We are not immortal, we merely hold a belief in our souls being so. Some of us are glamorous, but most aren't. We are not Edward Cullin, Lestat, or Angel, many of us are responsible people in society. We are not people merely involved with a fetish lifestyle, though some of us are, but we do not let it define who we are. We're not fanatics, we're not the trekkers of vampires. We don't all wear black and eye shadow , personally I am fond of color. There are any number of things the public believes us to be that we simply are not. We don't indiscriminately feed from everyone, we cherish those who would give. Finally we are not evil, Hitler was evil. I think we can all agree there's a lot of misconception about all walks of life. So real vampires should be no exception. Yet do to mass mis portrayals of who we are and good old apathy and indifference it continues. We are a lot of things some good and some bad but isn't that also what makes up society at a whole? We are fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, husbands, and wives we are society. We are the cast outs, the down trodden, the abused, and the misused and ultimately the misunderstood. We are a part of the society we just wish society would acknowledge us. And thats where mainstream media and the vampire community as a whole come in.

  The world, as we know it, is forever evolving. It is evolving into what has yet to be seen, and probably won't be seen until this vessel has long been turned to dust. But with a look at its past, we can see the path it has taken to reach the present, the now. With each passing era, great civilizations would rise, they would dominate, and they would fall and fade away into dust. But what has been constant, through the eons, has been the real vampire. Within the overall vampire community, the vast majority of us believe in reincarnation. Within that group resides another that believes our vampire soul is reincarnated as well. I, as well as my lady, my love, fall within this group. We believe it is the journey that makes us who we are and what we are today, in this world, in this now.

          We are twin flames, soul mates, lovers, a lord and his lady, master and slave. We are all of these, and we have been so for more than a few lifetimes. We've been royalty, lords of manor, farmers and peasants. I have been a woman and she a man, but the one constant is we have always found one another in every lifetime we have been blessed to share. It's those experiences that we have carried over. We remember, we relish, and we embrace our shared and combined past. Everyone searches for their soul mate, even more their twin flame. I am blessed, for I have found both. In this life we live as we once did with I as her King and master, she as my Queen and submissive. So I have decided to give a glimpse into a day within a few of our lives.

           It is a glorious day in 795 BC Greece. She stands there by the fire stoking the flames for cooking. She is a fine woman and a devoted one at that, who cares and loves her Master and sees to it that he wants for nothing. As I stroll over to the stone table with sandals in hand, there before me lies fresh geese eggs and ham from a pig I had butchered the day before. As I gaze about the room I realize a smell, a certain sweet smell, a lavender smell upon the air, mingling with the aromas of the morning. Then a smile grows across my face when I realize the sweet smell in the air is her, in all of her magnificence.

           As I head out into the farmland my love chases me down and places a kiss on my cheek, then smiles and makes a wife’s demand to be safe. The Mediterranean sun beats down upon my body as I both watch my flock, and remove the stones blocking the way of my small bit of land in preparation for planting. When the midday sun is at its highest point, I hear my name being called. I turn to be greeted by a stunning vision. My lady, my love, is making her way over the top of the hill, with an arm of bread, several chunks of lamb and a jar of cool, cool water. She truly is a good and caring woman and I often look toward Olympus and thank the gods for sending one who is surely one of their own.

           The sun does nothing but highlight her golden features, her auburn hair fluttering from the mid spring breeze. The brightness of her emerald eyes bewitch me yet again, just as they had upon our first introductions when we knew immediately that we each were the one which the Gods had steered us toward. As we sit upon a boulder I watch in admiration as she lays each item out and points, saying with love in her eyes, “For you my love.” It is a wonderful feast made even more so by the company I have with which to eat. Before she returns to our modest dwellings, she again wants reassurance of my safety. I bend and stroke her face and kiss her forehead and whisper “I love you and I will.” As I return to work I can't help but have a song in my heart and love in my soul.

           As the sun begins its downward journey, I begin to head toward the sheep that should have had their fill of grass hours earlier. I begin to herd them back over the hill, toward the safety of their pens, for the night. As I strap the gate shut, another aroma permeates the evening air. It is one of fresh baked bread, lamb, fish, and a new refreshing quencher of thirst which had arrived through trade with Egypt. As I sit down at the table, my meal is already displayed before me. It is at that moment that I realize I am truly the luckiest man in our world, if only for the reason that when I close my eyes to sleep I will awake to another day as grand as this one. What more can a man ask the Gods for?

           The time is 1288 in the year of our lord. As Lord of this land, I have been fighting on behalf of my King. In what can only be described as a war of feelings or, dare I say, hurt feelings. I have lost too many men and Elven allies. My desire to serve King and country is wearing thin at best. From behind me, I hear the rustle of footsteps and know it must be one of two ladies whom occupy my heart. From the smell of the north woods which fill my nostrils, I smile and reply, “It is good to have you near, mon jolie beaute' Elven.”  I feel her wonderful smile even before I turn to see it. My beautiful Elven princess stands before me in satin and gold clothing befitting a woman with Elven blood within her veins.

           At that moment a figure enters the court and my breath, just as it did the first time my eyes laid upon her, escaped with a gasp. Her beauty, both inside and out, fills all who cross her path with warmth and joy. And to her, I have pledged my life. She bows and then gently rubs the side of my haggard cheeks saying, “You are tired my Lord, how may I ease your weary mind?” I smile, hold her close and whisper in her ear, “You already have.” With those words, I am rewarded with a kiss and the grandest of all smiles for she is my Queen and performs that role well. But as my lady, my love, and my life she exceeds beyond all others. With the sight of both my personal Queen as well as my Princess, I find myself wishing for the opposite of what I had been begging God for, an end to the day. For in the company of two beauties, such as these, I now pray for the moment to go on forever.

           The year is 1862 and I, a simple blacksmith, have found myself yet again in the middle of a war. My job is to repair cannons that are in desperate need. The morning started out like any other, wishing I was back in the comfort of my home and furnace, waking in the arms of my love. We’ve barely finished the morning rations when the call to cannons sounds. The battle has begun. As I race to my assigned place I can hear, in the distance, the roar of thousands of muskets and carbines exploding as one. With those explosions, comes a sea of cries and screams as the wounded and dead fall to the earth below their feet.

           We proceed to load our cannon, with me fulfilling my duties and ramming first the powder, then the ball. At around our fifth volley, the first explosion happens just yards behind me, snapping a mighty pine. The union artillery has decided to join the battle. For the next several hours the roar of cannon fire is deafening to the ears. With only the surrounding screams of nearby comrades using their last breaths, we are ordered to split into two groups with five of our big guns aimed toward the battle below, the remainder aimed toward the enemy cannons. This exchange carries on for what seems an eternity. The sound of screams, the smell of blood, and the visions of carnage are the themes of the day.

           I never see it but the whoosh is undeniable and I hit the ground just as a brighter, more deadly explosion rains upon us. We have been hit. I never really feel the pain as much as I feel the agony my friends are enduring next to me. Of course, I have always been able to do that. I feel others emotions like anger, hate, sadness, happiness, agony and joy. Over time I have even become able to taste them. But as I lay there, not feeling my leg, I begin to smile. When they come to retrieve me I hear a voice say, “You’re done boy. You’re going home, and as a war hero no less.”  I begin to smile even more, but not at the thought of being a war hero for that is the last thing I want.  I am smiling at the word “home”. I am smiling that I finally know there      will be a tomorrow; one spent waking in her arms.
           As I leave the field hospital, where I learned they had to take my leg, I feel that familiar twitch and I smile again. As the captain officially gives me my papers to leave, my smile grows wider. I hobble onto the back of the wagon I think of how it will be just a few more days and I'll be home to her. The wagon heads down that deep rutted trail and my smile becomes a giggle. As the wagon clears the horizon, I become a willing victim to joyous laughter.

           You see, real vampires, or at least those who believe in an immortal soul can remember and relive their pasts. For some, it is a pleasant experience. But don't let the brief glimpses I've given you fool you into thinking it is all roses. For I, as well as every other person, have had my share of downs as well as ups. The ups we cherish, the downs we use as a tough lesson learned. But “our” pasts they are, and therefore a part of what make up those vampires within this belief. As I've said, the world is ever evolving, ever changing, into what though is still open. All I know is that, regardless of what happens, my immortal soul will be there to experience the new birth of a new civilization. Just as I, as countless others have through out eons of time, have come to accept our fate and our rebirth into the world. I can only speak for myself when I view the future. Countless others because of their past, however accepting of their fate they may be, do not look forward to it, whereas I have come to embrace it with the thought of being with my twin flame yet again. With that thought I begin to smile.

A sumery of the paranormal Pt. 2 : Ghosts

          When thinking of the paranormal, one facet stands out and that is the theories involving spirits or if you prefer ghosts. The consensus of them is fairly divided between believers and non-believers. With both sides having convincing arguments that have their flaws but are sound enough to expand on as a theory/hypothesis. With mainstream science scoffing at paranormal research it often comes down to amateur scientist pursuing answers to one of the oldest thoughts mankind has. Is there life after death. This phrase is a misleading one in that if there is life after death it certainly is not life as we know it. With that in mind I will explain a little about the mindset of both sides of this debate and lay out some of their basic ideals that fuel their beliefs.

           For the non-believer I think a lot of their doubt is self inflicted. Somewhere in their past they've lost a loved one and miss them dearly and at some point they may have believed in life after death. But the failure of this loved one to present themselves after death has left the skeptic bitter and closed off to possibilities. The irony of this is that for a lot of believers the belief started the same way, except with different results. When presented with evidence a non-believer will cry out “it's a hoax”. They tend to equate being able to reproduce phenomena as proof of nonexistence. My question to skeptics is simple. What will it take to convince you? When it comes to spirits they are short on that answer. I don't condemn them because it is a totally natural response. The truth is we're not talking Bigfoot here, where everyone agrees that a body, alive or dead would be the ultimate proof. We're talking souls, essence, consciousness, all things that due to technological limitations can't be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. This can be viewed as both sad and typical of the skeptical mind. The good news is most are swayed by a personal experience that their analytical minds come up short to explain.

           For the believer you tend to have two camps. Those who approach their beliefs with a religious or metaphysical interest. And those who are insistent on simply finding an answer and are using the technology that is available to record and document ghostly activity. The religious/metaphysical crowd tend to relay on basic equipment such as hand held camcorders, digital audio recorders and rely on the direction set forth by either a psychic or others who claim to be sensitive. With this bunch every knock tends to be interpreted as ghostly communication from beyond the grave. Sadly though this approach often yields little if any substantial results. It tends to be from this group that some skeptics are born.

           Emf detectors, DVR's, digital audio, wireless audio, K-2 meters, Infra red cameras, night vision cameras, broad spectrum cameras, and thermal imaging cameras, thermometers of all kinds. These are just a few of the tools employed by those who consider themselves professional investigators. Their goal is simply to prove or disprove reported paranormal activity. A good investigator will be objective in their approach, understanding that a creak in the floor board really is the age of the wood used. They don't discount a personal experience, but understand that without some form of evidence it remains a personal experience. A professional investigator will analyze each and every frame of an image they will go back measure light angles and attempt to reproduce the same results. They do this because as I said they must be objective. They also simply believe that a property owner should know of any possible alternative explanations. Actions like these and the approach they take shows a form of ethics within the investigative community.

           There are no shortage of folks who don't want to believe some for religious reasons, some for personal reasons, and some for scientific reasons. Among these is a man by the name of James Randi a former stage magician and now the scourge of all claims of paranormal activity. What Mr. Randi likes to do is expose psychics who claim to talk to the dead. The problem is these folks were so bad they would have exposed themselves before long anyway. He explains away ghostly activity by relying on his skills as a master magician. The flaw with that is he's assuming that everyone he exposes as a psychic or owner of a reported haunted location has the same access and knowledge of stage magic that he does. I've once heard him proclaim that he has never had a personal experience. My personal opinion is that maybe they know he's an asshole in the afterlife as well.

           Championing the professional investigators Are any number of groups around the world. Granted I'm partial towards those that don't charge a fee for two reasons. First, when you charge a fee there are certain expectations from the client. A proper pre investigation of the client should reveal to which side they are leaning towards, haunted or not. With a fee the client that believes it to be haunted may not like being told it isn't and vise versa. Second, those teams that don't charge are doing to things that do nothing but protect their image. They purchase their own equipment and are donating the time to perform a thorough investigation. They are not obligated by a fee, they're free to present the evidence collected if any. This establishes an image of thoroughness and a genuine desire for answers. As for hoaxes, well sadly they do exist. There will always be someone without scruples willing to make a dollar of someone else's misery and hope. But I argue that those are the exception and certainly not the rule.

My view on disipline

          One of the duties of a good master/mistress is to correct behavior or actions in a manner that encourages success. Though it is true that no two Dom's styles, techniques, or methods are the same, certain characteristics are. When correcting two approaches tend to be taken, punishment and teaching. However when dealing with subs/slaves one needs to remember that the mentality and the strength of mind are different for everyone of them as well. But much like a master/mistress two tendencies or mindsets surfaces when dealing with the thought of being corrected, apprehension and eagerness towards the coming events and their out come.

           The first and most often chosen is punishment. Punishment can mean any number of ways and means and to be effective must be more pain than pleasure. This could be forbidding or “grounding” the sub/slave from going to places or activities they enjoy. This could also mean a paddling that is designed more for making the pleasurable feel of a flog less pleasurable. It is important to note though that spanking and paddling if done right will have a desired effect. A master/mistress must be aware of the Sane and Safe parts of the SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual). Beatings don't create devotion they create fear. No good and honorable master or mistress wants that.

           When A slave is apprehensive it tends to be due to the unpredictability and pain of the punishment. A slave that is fearful of their Dom is not learning the lessons that are being attempted to be taught. You want a slave to jump through burning hoops to succeed in their servitude towards their master/mistress and not cowering at the opportunity. By stripping down the self esteem of a slave by instilling fear and doubt one is guaranteeing repeated mistakes and unacceptable behavior. I can't speak for any other Dom but I'm trying to put an end to those traits.

           The second way and in my own personal opinion the more effective way is to teach. In order to effectively do this the master/mistress must be, A. willing to teach, B. wants a better future than the past their slave has come from, and C. patient, gods you need patience. When teaching your mindset must be one of expectation and not hesitation. You must expect mistakes and deal with them not only firmly but fairly as well. Far too often those new to the lifestyle expect their sub/slave to be perfect right out of the box. Two things are wrong with this approach to teaching. First if they were perfect then they wouldn't be getting corrected. The second is simply no one is perfect we all have flaws and we all strive to alleviate or eliminate those flaws. This can only be done through teaching and learning. If you are teaching a slave to be more attuned to your wishes and needs then tell them and don't expect them to learn everything in one sitting. This creates a feeling of accomplishment in both the master/mistress and sub/slave.

           A slave will respond to this approach with eagerness. They view every lesson as another chance to become better at what it is they wish to do which includes the servitude they willingly give. A sub/slave with self esteem is not a bad thing my friends. A sub/slave with self esteem knows and understands their role in the relationship. And they view the lesson as an attempt by their master/mistress to be loving and caring and harboring a true desire for their betterment. A good master/mistress will recognize this and nurse it. A sub/slave will respond to this with a greater devotion not only to you but towards their duties as well.

In the end though no two masters/mistresses are the same. Just as no two subs/slaves are the same but each does respond negatively to some methods and positively to others. As Dom's we owe it to ourselves as well as those we claim as ours to discover which is which. For those who are submissive as well as or are slaves, you must remember we are not mind readers you must communicate what it is you are seeking. What it is you are looking to achieve. Only then can an atmosphere be created where eagerness can be fostered and hard lessons can be learned.

           This is all based on my personal views and approaches. How I deal and treat my submissive is just that my views and approaches. But it just seems honest to level praise in direct proportion if not more to chastisement. I do it this way and the results have led to both myself and my loves happiness and contentment through out the relationship.

Domination on a budget

           If you are like me you really can't devote a whole lot of finances towards playtime toys. Which is why in many circumstances there is something already in your home that would be more than adequate to use. Paddles, depending on the quality can cost a little bit. Of course with a keen eye and a little imagination and suddenly things once thought ordinary magically become erotically useful. No replacing a paddle should be an easy one. Anything with a hard flat surface makes for the best results. Items such as wooden spoons or plastic spatulas work great. For an harder sting you can try the flat end of a hair brush any of the above will work quite nicely in making your slave whither in pleasure received with each swing.

           As for bondage, the cost can get pretty high what with specific function implements and such. But around your home lies items that are just as useful for this avenue of the lifestyle. Duct tape, yes duct tape now has a new use. It when used properly is an effective restraint. But that's not all, plastic wrap can instantly become a very useful restraint as well. Then there is the tried and true neck tie. The applications of that business mainstay are endless. Those are but the obvious I'm sure with a little looking while in the right frame of mind you'll find more.

           Even some of the “more” specialized items like spacers can be improvised from home. Those are easily accomplished by two means. The first is the obvious again which is to use the corners of the bed. Besides being relatively dull it can be a “in a pinch” kinda thing. However with one of the household restraints mentioned above a average broom handle becomes a more than suitable replacement. So instead of tossing that old broom or mop in the dump, remember we live in a green society. Recycle! Besides the added benefit to using this is it becomes extremely portable and convenient in those awkward times of need.

           Finally a place to perform all of this planned pleasure. Well believe it or not once again check around the house (this is a lot easier if you have no children). O)f course there is the bed, dependable but boring. How about the kitchen table? A slave can be bent across its surface with their hands secured to the farthest legs and their legs tied to the ones closest. Then there is the couch once again, a slave can be bent across with hands tied to the legs in the front. This also spreads the arms out ward in a bent over crucifix position. You can also have your slave lie face down on the floor and tire hands above her head to the legs as well.

           These as well as a multitude of other suggestions are readily available to anyone willing to use their imaginations, given our lifestyle that shouldn't be too hard. So whether you're the business person on the go or the low income keep it in the bedroom type of Dom. You can always be prepared in a sudden need to fulfill your desires. Please! Because you will be using objects and items for purposes other than the intended use it is ultimately imperative that the code of Sane, Safe, and Consensual be observed.

Labeling (the name game)

          There is a tired debate that rears its ugly little head every once in a while more so as of late however. That debate revolves around labels. By labels I'm referring to how we as kin whether vampire or other wish to be referred as. What started out as an honest discussion concerning our identity as a community has vastly turned into a yard stick of measurement in who does and does not qualify as the excepted term in use, as in who is qualified to call themselves a real vampire and who is not. Now those who have read my previous writings in regards to this subject, know full well my opinions concerning it. I believe it is a useless hypocrisy and extremely counter productive practice. Useless hypocrisy as in how can we claim that all awakenings are different and then claim only those who underwent a specific one qualifies as a vampire. Counter productive as in it defeats the dominant desire to unite the community.

           We go through our day lives facing labels on an almost constant basis. Terms such as goth, emo, head banger, biker, and countless others are but a few used to label members of society. And yet we can't seem to stop ourselves from pointing our fingers and proclaiming someone else something that is acceptable to us as a collective. Now within our world, I will admit to a certain need for labels but only for the purpose of identifying with others of our kind. I however draw the line when the choice of the individual is taken away. In other words, shouldn't it be the individuals right to decide where they fit in to the community? Doesn't this seem a logical conclusion to an illogical debate? Of course it does, which is exactly why it would fail.

           It would fail because it requires someone to deflate their ego, to relinquish self importance. Now there are those who would gladly do this if it were for the betterment of the community both on line and off. But then there are those that relish the power they have inherited either through dominance or vote. It is these individuals who fail to realize it was their abilities and not personalities that gained them their positions. Some of these folks even go so far as to claim labels, such as Elder, Reverend, Lord etc... and do so without recognizing the divine which is part of those expectations. It is because of the very human ego that simply allowing the individual to find their place will fail in its application. The sad thing is that it really wouldn't take much of an effort to do, since a majority of those claiming those titles are decent and caring in their approach to dealing with those seeking their way through this existence.

           So are labels important? To a certain degree, yes. But should they be used to divide and identify? Only by the individual searching for their place in our world. We spend so much time trying to find ourselves when we awaken. So many tears from the shunning of family and friends. So much heart ache from the relationships lost. We endure so much merely trying to fit in to where we know in our hearts we belong. So much so that playing the name game is becoming nothing more than an obstacle on that path. So if you feel the need to label, then ask what label that person wishes not on what you perceive them to be. For at some point in your past you made a choice, it's only fitting that the same courtesy be passed on as well.

Unwarranted Condemnation of D/s BDSM

          When anyone associated with mainstream society encounters someone involved in the D/s BDSM sub-culture, they immediately form a not so flattering opinion. With this opinion also comes preconceived notions concerning the individuals mental capacity. They often ask whether we are normal and whether a mental evaluation concerning our sanity has ever been performed. To answer the first question, yes we are quite normal. Simply because we believe in more than the minimum number of ways society deems fit to express sexual desires as well as love and relationships, in no way makes us abnormal by any stretch of the imagination. As for the second part of the question with our convictions in what it is we do, why would we need to question our sanity. There simply is no reason for us to do it due to our actions and activities being consensual among all involved.

           These Ideas they have concerning those involved with this lifestyle are based on bad information and in a lot of cases out right lies. So what I would like to do with this article is to dispel the magnitude of bad information concerning the sub-culture at large. Now I am in no way delusional in thinking that my words will change the puritan mindset of those who would use words such as degrading, abusive, perversion, and other derogatory words that for the most part are simply not true. Instead I hope to create an internal dialogue in order to create a live and let live relationship. In order to accomplish this I will explain to you the reader what D/s BDSM really is and most importantly what it means to those that practice it.

           As to the claims of abuse, lets just say that the mainstream mindset uses a very narrow definition of the word and unfairly lumps us in with those who would truly be abusive. An abusive person controls every aspect of their mates life and I do mean every aspect. They force their victims to perform any number of things against their will and have zero issues with inflicting permanent damage even leading to death. In the D/s BDSM community a slave or submissive can end a scene or a relationship when ever they feel the need to do so. They dictate the pace and the amount of pain as well as the limitations they are willing to submit to. A very good and caring Master, Mistress or Dom will respect these limitations as well as the desire of the slave to set them. A truly abusive person harbors no such respect and only worries about how to get their way and press their will upon another. A truly abusive person recognizes no boundaries in regards to anyone, whether they are part of the lifestyle or not. In short Masters, Mistresses and Doms respect an individuals wishes and abusers don't.

           Degrading! Once again this is in the hands of the slave or submissive to decide. Prior to any casual participation between a Master and a slave there is what is commonly known as a negotiation between the two. It is during this exchange that limitations as well as a safe word to be used are agreed upon. It also provides both parties an opportunity to get to know one another. This is often where the phrase of “Masters, Mistresses know thy slave and slave know thy Masters , Mistresses” comes into play. Once again the negotiation is where both individuals mutually agree upon all activities that are to take place.

Perversion! The idea of perversion is one that has its applications in our world. If an individual rapes and has sex with children I will gladly be the first in line to label them perverted. However when applied towards the D/s BDSM lifestyle and those who participate in it, one must remember that it is an accusation that once again is of a puritan mindset. Simply because two adults make a consenting agreement in how to express their sexual desires as well as their right to individuality does in no way constitute the use of the word. Out of respect for others we do not condemn those that prefer their bedroom activities to be of a more socially accepted nature. We in turn do not wish to have what we deem as acceptable sexual behavior condemned, chastised or labeled as perverted.

           These perceptions as well as countless others are as I said mostly unwarranted. And I will admit that within the lifestyle there are those that break those boundaries that are agreed upon or if you prefer “bad apples”. However those types of people are found in all walks of life and not just in ours. The D/s BDSM world is definitely not for everyone. But for those who do live and participate in it. It is a way for them to find a true meaning in their lives. It is a way for them to be who they desire to be. That in and of itself should not be viewed as abusive, degrading, and perverted. For those two simple wishes are ones that are shared by all members of a society.

           Pleasure through pain, liberation through servitude are the foundations in which our community is built upon. It doesn't make us bad people, it merely means we view our lives and what we do with them differently than most. We are open minded and highly responsible members of the world's civilizations. It is however a sub-culture in which all participants wishes and desires are respected and honored. This has never been more exhibited than through the words “Safe, Sane, and Consensual”. Although the meaning of those words are debated among the community, they are none the less adhered to. For only then can pleasure through pain and liberation through servitude truly be attained by all those who are involved.

 

Demons, Dragons, and trapped inside

           Cute title, right? Maybe so, but it's not so cute of a subject. There is a vast number of people in the world who either through mental or physical trauma have denied themselves true happiness. They starve themselves of love and unintentionally and definitely without malice create emotional havoc in the lives of those that care and love them. This trauma, this demon they keep locked up inside typically doesn't want happiness or true love to take root. For that would only serve to interfere with the misery that is trying to be fostered.
          When this fostered misery matures, it is transformed into a vicious dragon. One that serves only a single purpose, that being to consume from the inside out the very soul, the very drive, the very essence of the individual. This dragon has many names but for those who suffer through this it is known as self loathing and hate. This dragon's natural habitat is comprised of fear. Fear of the unknown, of the uncertainty, and the hope of a brighter and more peaceful future. It nestles in these fears and wraps itself in its coldness. In hopes that it can live and die with the person it has consumed.
          However, what they must come to realize is that this beast can be destroyed. Its death can surely be accomplished with weapons that have been readily available through out the whole ordeal. This arsenal consists of love, friendship, faith, happiness, and a higher appreciation of self worth. All the very things It strives to destroy are the very things that can lead to its demise.
          This victory starts with love. Those who have fought and struggled through these internal battles must learn to love themselves as well as others, while allowing the love they offer to flood their very being. Upon this foundation you must build or rebuild friendships. These friendships must be based on common need and respect for each other and develop a want to feel included in each others happiness and triumphs. You must have faith in your self as well as those who are friends and loved ones for they will always be there along side of you to face and do battle against this demon, this dragon. Through all of this the happiness which has eluded you to this point can begin to grow and once it matures it will blossom into a higher appreciation of self worth.
          These things, these emotions are the only thing that will destroy the beast that dwells within you. But the catch is only you have the key to unlock them. Only can have the will to move on. What I can say and I say this on behalf of those that have and always will love and care for you is simple and direct. Please let us be there for you, please allow us to fight by your side please allow us to soothe your fears and your anxieties and finally, please let us help you release this dragon so that it can be slayed. There is no trauma in life that cannot be over come with these weapons. Allow us to help you wield them and reclaim your lives back.

"Demons, Dragons, and trapped inside” Not so cute now, right?

Hypocrisy

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

(from hamlet, William Shakespeare)

          This should be the battle cry of all those, who proudly proclaim that they are in fact a real vampire or even what is considered in our world to be otherkin for that matter. We dwell in a world that is chock full of hypocrisy when it comes to matters of spirituality and beliefs. The debate lies in what is acceptable in the eyes of a society born of religious persecution. It is within that fact where the hypocrisy lies.

          When I first came out of the coffin as it were, I immediately faced an overwhelming battery of questions concerning my mental state. I was shunned by most of my peers and frowned upon by most of my own family. However the most critical of all came from the religious community as a whole. Catholics, protestants, muselum, and Jew, all called me everything from delusional to demonic. For catholics as well as protestants the convenient memory lapse of northern Ireland and the reasons for the pilgrims traveling to the “new” world is hypocrisy. The failure of muselums to remember the fears experienced by their ancestors who were not warriors, but were none the less subjected to the brutality of the crusades (there wasn't just one) is hypocrisy. For those in the world of Judaism the unacceptable memory lapse of the holocaust was hypocrisy.

          They tempered their words of intolerance though with a desire to help. Each claimed that if I would only open myself up to their interpretations of their god, that I would eventually come to what they viewed as sane and proper . In other words they simply wanted me to stop being who and what I am and start being who and what they thought I should be. The hypocrisy in all of this is that at some point and time in their histories someone else demanded the same of them.

          At least part of their condemnation though results from their non belief and misinformation concerning those who proclaim vampirism as a belief or way of life. They argue that there is no proof of prana, chi, or any of the other names used to refer to it around the globe. And yet they want me to accept perceived miracles as well as actions as concrete proof of a non visible god.

          Now, don't think the hostile tone of this has escaped me, for it hasn't and was done so on purpose. See I pride myself on being a tough love kind of individual. And as a real vampire as well as a practicing D/s master at that, and societies perception of those things. It has made me understand the meaning of the word hypocrisy. For those reasons alone I strive each and everyday to be tolerant of others beliefs and allow them to express said beliefs in order to avoid the appearance of hypocrisy. Wouldn't be nice if everyone made that same effort. So I highly recommend that those who would deny me my beliefs, take to heart those words written by Mr. Shakespeare so many centuries ago.

A basic summery of the paranormal

In the world of real vampires very little outside of what society at large dictates as believable seldom if ever surprises us. This includes things that are considered paranormal or supernatural. Now I know some reading this are saying, but wait, there is no distinction between the two. My reply would be simply of course there is and here is why. The world of paranormal encompasses a variety of professions. There's parapsychologist, cryptozoologist, as well as the new kid on the block those studying UFOs and USOs (unidentified submersible object). Supernatural tends to fall under the category of gods, demons, and angels. Paranormal activity uses scientific theory and equipment in order to capture evidence of the existence of whatever is being investigated or studied. With the supernatural evidence is not so readily available science and those with bigger brains than I have yet to figure out a way to capture anything remotely close to evidence for the existence of demons and angels. Maybe I should clarify that, with the supernatural more so than not the only thing ever really seen or captured on film of any kind is the result of the action and not the action itself, where as with paranormal investigations the act itself is often captured or eye witness accounts of the action itself exist.

           One of the more scoffed at aspects of the field of paranormal research is that of ghost or spirit investigation. This is largely due to various facets of it and the way science perceives the investigation as well as their own ability to open their minds to possibilities outside of a electron microscope. The perception of the actual investigation is one I'm afraid is an up hill battle, as long as television shows such as “Most Haunted” and “Ghost Adventures” are produced. With Most Haunted everything is wrong in their approach, first off an investigator can't investigate when they are cowering in a corner squealing like little kids at the least slightest sound. With Ghost Adventures they at least use stationary cameras, EMF meters, and digital audio recording devices. Their biggest flaw is they treat every sound, every noise, and every bump in the night as if it were ghostly activity. The one show that I would say captures what an investigation is supposed to be like is Ghost Hunters. These guys really try to do it right by that I mean they go in with a semi skeptics mentality between their crew and them they've witnessed and investigated too many haunting to not believe that there is something to it. What sets them apart from everyone else is they also acknowledge that sometimes a bump in the night is just that a bump in the night and are not bashful in telling a client that they have alternative explanations that could or could not explain away said bump.

           Cryptozoology, Is an interesting field that is best known for its investigations into Bigfoot or the reported sightings of lake monsters that come in from around the world most notably, Loch Ness. For these people they approach it from a true scientific standpoint in that they employ sciences from botany to forensics to veterinary medicine. Mainstream science however is split on the validity of the work done. One side says it can't be or we would have come across something by now this maybe true to an extent when dealing with a narrow scope of a single location. But until science starts putting more bodies out in the field searching for the alive or dead subject, then answer to that will remain elusive. For those within the scientific community that are willing to go on record as saying that there is a possibility present a more logical argument and it is one that mainstream science has no readily available answer to. That question being what of the discoveries of recent past of animals that either have been theorized to exist and even the rediscovery of some that were long thought extinct. Something to boost their argument is the very real statistic that man has only been able to explore less than ten percent of the worlds oceans so who truly knows what lies there. So the truth being is we really don't know what inhabits our planet, at least not in the areas that have never seen a human shadow.

           UFOs, the argument involved in this phenomena boils down to those who are arrogant and those who are not. Those who are, seem to want to believe that a god created everything or that man is the only intelligent mammal not only on the planet but within the cosmos as well. Those that are not, point out that man has not investigated a tenth of our own solar system let alone any number of other solar systems or galaxies. That even though we have radio transmitters pointed towards the heavens they except that the mathematical codes being transmitted may not even be understood by an alien life form and if thats the case then the radio receivers are useless as well because we wouldn't know what their form of communication is.

          My personal opinion on the paranormal and the argument that ensue is that it happens anytime man becomes arrogant enough to believe that all lifeforms think as they do. There are any number of people who believe in the paranormal just as there are any number of those who do not. But one thing is clear and that is there will always be a debate and like all good debates one side will eventually lose. Then again who am I to say this I am a real vampire and everyday I fight the very untrue and Hollywood portrayals of what real vampires are and are supposed to be.

Master and slave: Joyous times

          In a previous post I made reference to being committed to my slave through the good and bad. It is in great pride in my efforts and in her abilities to present and example of the joyous times. These shared experiences are a part of the D/s BDSM community, yet they are often ignored or brushed aside for the benefit of a good story in the news. My slave learned to believe in herself! I mean I’m sure she thought she had faith before, but having faith and having belief are two separate things.

          With faith you have confidence that something good will happen. When you have belief, you’re expressing that you know for a fact that something will happen. It was this mentality that she had to except. You see she is a very talented writer and you can see for yourself here at This Tainted Soul of Mine. It is through this natural born gift that her belief in that she will succeed is created. Once she accepted this into her heart, she was rewarded with one of her articles being published in an online e-zine you can find that one here SOCYBERTY.

          With this, she has a stepping stone in order to achieve far greater things with her writings. All she had to do is switch from faith to belief in her abilities and how far she can go with them. I achieved this not through punishment as some might expect. I did it by forbidding her to quit. By pointing out that by her focusing on being a perfect slave, that she can then apply that same focus to all aspects of her being. This did not happen overnight. I knew from the word go that it would take time do to the fact that it is not physical behavior I would be changing but a persons psyche or their view of themselves. An undertaking such as this is not one to be taken lightly.

          By forcing her through critism when needed and a good girl when warranted she became aware of the belief that I as her master had in her. It was through this that she felt the very natural desire to please me and in order to achieve that she had to come to the understanding that to do nothing was not acceptable in her masters eyes. It was through this that she followed her natural desires and bowed to my will as her master to guide her in what I expected of her. What expected of her was effort. What I expected of her was determination. That what I wanted for her the most was success! I commanded these things of her and as the wonderful and attentive slave did her best at following those commands. By doing this she gained strength through my convictions in her gift. Through that strength she discovered a deep seeded belief that she was good enough. It was through that strength that she closed off the fear of rejection, of disappointment. That through effort comes reward. And it is because of that strength that she is who she is today a talented and gifted writer. So as I said She has made me proud to be her master and it is that very pride that I can say with all the love I have, “Good Girl”!

Pleasure and Pain

I dream of her and her sultry way

Of gentle pain, we crave, we play

The sight of flesh reddened and warm

Tingles with pleasure, like the prick of a thorn

For Vampires it’s magick, dancing in the night

For others it’s tragic, a misunderstood sight

The energy we seek, is just beneath the surface

For every swing of the flog, serves a purpose

To submit, to serve, head bowed, she comes

Intoxicating beauty, is mine to own

To shape and to mold is my will to be

As well as to love and protect for eternity

My love is endless my conviction too

To help her to shine, through and through

To own and to cherish, is my master’s right

Giving comfort, and solace, both day and night

Two Vampires in love, as it should be

Baring themselves for the world to see

The thought of submission, to some seems absurd

The lines of passion surely are blurred

To give to each other, is our destined call

To experience life, to give it our all

Exposing our souls without vane

Expressing our love through pleasure and pain

Normalcy, what is it?

     Normalcy What is it really? Does the concept of normal go hand in hand with what society sets forth as guidelines, is stepping outside those guidelines grounds to be branded abnormal? Or are they one in the same, forever evolving as does society at large? Should it turn out that society dictates the perception of normal, then is it fair to brand it both hypocritical and in some ways abnormal itself. I offer up several examples of the appearance of this.

     Take the case of Jeffery Dahmer, arguably one of the more infamous figures in serial killer history. His actions set him aside was the purpose for the murders, cannibalism! To society at large these actions were and still are considered extremely abnormal bordering on psychosis and insanity. Yet prior to his criminal trial he had to undergo what is known as a competency hearing. It is in this hearing that the matters of sanity are discussed. Society via mass media branded him as insane thus proclaiming his abnormality. This same society however through the voices of those involved with the hearing Mr. Dahmer's actions were deemed as those committed by a rational (must know right from wrong) and sane (by the definitions of society) man. So I ask this given this very real scenario, who should be considered abnormal? Dahmer? Who single handedly killed and consumed nearly 18 human beings. Or the man and or woman or combination(s) of both, said he was normal for doing it?

     It's not just the macabre that this ever wondering definition of normal dwells. It has been present through out history. It can be found in every traumatic and dramatic event of our lives and societies history. It can be found in the slave trade of the 17^th through to the early19^th centuries. It is prevalent in the street gangs of today as it was of the 30's. Society views their actions as abnormal behavior but to them it is a part of everyday life thus making it perfectly normal. Yet they are still part of society as a whole.

     It wasn't so long ago that the erratic definition of normal even crept its way into love. Our sexuality and preferences have become topic for judgments as well. Is it or isn't it normal to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual is based on the individual perspective of what society views as norm and that view is ever changing. Sexual fetishes depending upon whom you ask is considered normal, and just as abnormal to others. I would theorize that through the debate that takes place involving our individual sexuality, we are watching the evolution of normalcy

     So with the apparent ever changing definition of normal, I constantly ask myself this. Normalcy? What is it? Is it the unspoken acceptance of a majority of opinions? Is it the open expression of laws that act as rules and guidelines in which to label and judge the mentality of others? Is it the moral values of a group that is only representative of society or a portion of it? There's a lot of stigma as well as acceptance that is associated with the word normal. With this in mind it is only fair that we as individuals dictate to ourselves what the definition should be and accept that that definition is not an end to anything, but a beginning. A beginning for someone(s) struggle to simply be accepted for who and what they are.

     The irony of it all though is this. Even when acknowledging the evolution and shear confusion of what normal is one must also admit that it does serve a purpose in defining the behavior of individuals who cross all boundaries set by even the most rudimentary of civilizations. Such as in the case of the above mentioned Mr. Dahmer where the definition was manipulated in order to insure punishment. But it still doesn't change the fact that normal has and always will be an enigma unto itself. Which is why the questions of normalcy and what is it.