Thursday, October 15, 2009

My view on disipline


          One of the duties of a good master/mistress is to correct behavior or actions in a manner that encourages success. Though it is true that no two Dom's styles, techniques, or methods are the same, certain characteristics are. When correcting two approaches tend to be taken, punishment and teaching. However when dealing with subs/slaves one needs to remember that the mentality and the strength of mind are different for everyone of them as well. But much like a master/mistress two tendencies or mindsets surfaces when dealing with the thought of being corrected, apprehension and eagerness towards the coming events and their out come.
           The first and most often chosen is punishment. Punishment can mean any number of ways and means and to be effective must be more pain than pleasure. This could be forbidding or “grounding” the sub/slave from going to places or activities they enjoy. This could also mean a paddling that is designed more for making the pleasurable feel of a flog less pleasurable. It is important to note though that spanking and paddling if done right will have a desired effect. A master/mistress must be aware of the Sane and Safe parts of the SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual). Beatings don't create devotion they create fear. No good and honorable master or mistress wants that.
           When A slave is apprehensive it tends to be due to the unpredictability and pain of the punishment. A slave that is fearful of their Dom is not learning the lessons that are being attempted to be taught. You want a slave to jump through burning hoops to succeed in their servitude towards their master/mistress and not cowering at the opportunity. By stripping down the self esteem of a slave by instilling fear and doubt one is guaranteeing repeated mistakes and unacceptable behavior. I can't speak for any other Dom but I'm trying to put an end to those traits.
           The second way and in my own personal opinion the more effective way is to teach. In order to effectively do this the master/mistress must be, A. willing to teach, B. wants a better future than the past their slave has come from, and C. patient, gods you need patience. When teaching your mindset must be one of expectation and not hesitation. You must expect mistakes and deal with them not only firmly but fairly as well. Far too often those new to the lifestyle expect their sub/slave to be perfect right out of the box. Two things are wrong with this approach to teaching. First if they were perfect then they wouldn't be getting corrected. The second is simply no one is perfect we all have flaws and we all strive to alleviate or eliminate those flaws. This can only be done through teaching and learning. If you are teaching a slave to be more attuned to your wishes and needs then tell them and don't expect them to learn everything in one sitting. This creates a feeling of accomplishment in both the master/mistress and sub/slave.
           A slave will respond to this approach with eagerness. They view every lesson as another chance to become better at what it is they wish to do which includes the servitude they willingly give. A sub/slave with self esteem is not a bad thing my friends. A sub/slave with self esteem knows and understands their role in the relationship. And they view the lesson as an attempt by their master/mistress to be loving and caring and harboring a true desire for their betterment. A good master/mistress will recognize this and nurse it. A sub/slave will respond to this with a greater devotion not only to you but towards their duties as well.
In the end though no two masters/mistresses are the same. Just as no two subs/slaves are the same but each does respond negatively to some methods and positively to others. As Dom's we owe it to ourselves as well as those we claim as ours to discover which is which. For those who are submissive as well as or are slaves, you must remember we are not mind readers you must communicate what it is you are seeking. What it is you are looking to achieve. Only then can an atmosphere be created where eagerness can be fostered and hard lessons can be learned.
           This is all based on my personal views and approaches. How I deal and treat my submissive is just that my views and approaches. But it just seems honest to level praise in direct proportion if not more to chastisement. I do it this way and the results have led to both myself and my loves happiness and contentment through out the relationship.




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